Values Part 1, Expressions Of Who We Are

Part 1:  Identify Your Values

Imagine if your mail arrived three days late.  And you flipped through it to find your neighbor’s mail and a package that belongs to a guy down the street.  What if the mail carrier thought, “421, 422…  that’s close enough.” And what if he believed life should not be rushed and assumed everyone else agreed?  It is obvious this person’s values don’t fit his job description. 
            Weather we realize it or not, our values reflect what is important to us.  We can see what we value by the decisions we make, what motivates us and they create either synergy or conflict with those around us.  Let’s take a look at the three levels of values to understand where our values are derived from (Becoming A Professional Life Coach). 

1)  The first level is the “should” values.  In our younger years we, “should pay attention in class,” we “should allow our grandmother to give us a wet whiskery kiss to avoid hurting her feelings,” we “should do our chores.” “Shoulds” are also at play when society’s expectations lead our decisions and we give up important things in our life for surficial gains.    

2) Chosen values resonate with us personally.  These are natural tendencies such as creativity and self expression.  Life experience also lends us to tendencies and habits such as punctuality, physical vitality, cleanliness and assertiveness.

3) The final level of values are called core values.  These are the top 4-5 things that are at the core of who we are, the non-negotiable ones. If these are not part of our lives we will feel dissatisfied, depressed and experience inner turmoil.  Without these it is impossible to live a fulfilled life.  These include safety, peace, love, loyalty, community, etc.  

So why does it matter if we are explicit about our values, aren’t they obvious?  The truth is that there are many distractions in life that get in the way of us living out our values.  Without being aware of our values, we can easily spend our life following the “shoulds” and end up looking back in regret at our choices.

When we acknowledge our values, we gain tremendous clarity and focus. We are able to use our results to make consistent decisions & take committed actions. The whole point of discovering your values is to improve the results we get in those areas that are truly most important to you.  Stay tuned for the next article where we will identify our should, chosen and core values. 

Challenge:   What is one chosen or core value that is dormant in your life?