Being grounded through hard times

As my mom’s disease progressed (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) a cycle of emotions began.  Every three months she would have testing done at the ALS clinic to see if her physical functions had deteriorated.  After each appointment we were either relieved as if we had “dodged a bullet” or scared to a new heightened sense of urgency, “maybe this will be her last .....”  Because of the varying rate of progression, ALS has an ambiguous prognosis; how quickly a person will progress ranges from 6 months to 10 years. The last two years I was grabbing at straws; no matter how I tried, I just could not get a used to the cycle of emotions.  It was during this time of uncertainty and grief that I leaned on things that brought me a sense of peace and security and provided relief from the emotional cycle’s strain. 

All my years of training and athletic endeavors were no longer just for fun but became essential for grounding myself.  In this safe and familiar place, I could work though things and see from God’s eyes.  This is a place where I experienced who God made me and I could just “be” as I wrestled my emotions.  There was more than one run that turned into a tearful walk and swim that was one lap at a time as I dried my eyes beneath my goggles. I processed. I prayed. I grieved.  I was refreshed and able to press on.  The space arrive at when moving my body is a therapeutic place; this is how God has wired me.  For some it is gardening, painting, sewing, cooking, cleaning, writing; the list is endless and has no rules.

Whatever makes you feel grounded and gets you in a space outside your life’s situations to clear your head, go there.  Make time for it.  Let it be therapeutic for you.  When hard times come, have that reference point where you are grounded.  The familiarity, security and serenity will give you energy to press on. 

Action Step:
What is your sacred space where you can are able to just "be?"

The success of our goals will depend upon weather or not they are SMART.  Smart goals are ones that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time oriented. Here is how to apply SMART principles to your goals.  Let’s build upon the example of a goal “to have a garden” as we go through the 5 simple steps of a smart goal.
Specific
A specific goal will answer the five 'W' questions:
·       Who: Who is involved? Me
·       What: What do I want to accomplish? Have a garden 
·       When:  When will you do this?  This summer
·       Where: Identify a location. The north corner of my backyard
·       Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal. To provide vegetables for my family

Measurable
How will I know when it is accomplished? When I have 5 produce plants bearing food for my family can eat.

Attainable
Is this goal realistic and attainable? Consider the conditions surrounding the goal, how realistic is it to be able to achieve this goal?  Certain conditions are needed for produce to grow including the right irrigation system, the right weather, protection from insects and pests.  I am realizing that I need to do some research to make sure this is a realistic goal.  

Relevant
Relevant goals drive you forward and will fit into your life. A relevant goal can answer yes to these questions:
·       Does this seem worthwhile? Yes, I will love to have fresh, organic food.
·       Is this the right time? I have time in my schedule to make this happen. 

Time-bound
This part of the SMART goal criteria is intended to prevent goals from being overtaken by the day-to-day distractions that can arise.  A deadline will keep you on track. 

A time-bound goal will usually the question:
·       When? Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I will work on my garden from 4-5pm

As you can see, it is beneficial to take a look at the 5 steps in the SMART prior to moving forward.  It will allow you to see possible problems that will arise (eg: research needed to ensure that the backyard environment is conducive to growing produce) and make the goal a priority so it does not get lost in the business of everyday life. 

Action Step:  
Take 10 minutes and write down a SMART goal.  

Citations:  http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=SMART_criteria&action=edit&section=6

Healthier You = Healthier Family.

By Heidi Smith Coaching

 

We have all heard the story of the mom who is so busy with caring for her family she eats  gold fish for lunch, wearing makeup is a thing of the past and exercise is running after their toddler all day. Most of us moms, at some point in time, have given up things we need and enjoy in life for the sake of caring for our family.  At first sight it appears that these selfless acts are for the greatest good.  Is it possible that this martyrdom is actually sabotaging both the health of her and her family? 

 

Habits are easier caught than taught.  Eating well, exercising, and having healthy social outlets are habits that speak volumes to our children without even a word being said.  How we go about our daily lives tell our children what we think the best way to live is.  Teaching your child that self care is important in all stages of life allows them to learn healthy boundaries and is an asset that allows them to thrive in the world as they grow and face challenges.

Patience is a virtue.  I used to think I had the gift of inexhaustible patience.  That was until I had kids and realized patience not only takes practice but if I get too worn out, I will break and my frustration will get the best of me. You know this point when the stimulation of your household was fun yesterday and today it feels like a type of torture.  If there is no rest, emotional outlet or personal validation, nerves get worn out and impatience becomes a habit.  Far too late we realize we are not treating our family the way we want to- with love and respect- and feel trapped by situational exhaustion. Taking time away to get recharged is essential to quality relationships.  The emotional load of having a family requires an energizing recovery- unique recovery for you.  Doing things that bring out your personhood and individuality are the greatest energy givers.  What is this for you??  Teach your kids to find what this is for them so when they are tired, frustrated, worn out they have an energy giving outlet in their life.

It’s all about chemistry.  Exercise, rest and nutrition are KEY players in our health.  The powerful affects of these go beyond prevention of illnesses like diabetes and heart disease but actually change your chemistry and hormones.  These affects are potent medicine!   In fact, the same mechanism of actions that many mood-altering medications perform can be accomplished through diet, exercise and stress reduction alone!  Stabilizing blood sugar levels, moderating stress, and releasing serotonin through exercise WILL make you feel better and be a better mom; and this will result in a healthier family. 

Through planning, prioritizing and simply living what you believe you will not only be a healthier mom but will lead a legacy of health for your family. 

Action Step: Tell a friend the one habit you will adopt to be a healthier mom.

 

The Sweet Little Things
By Heidi Smith

Hearing my children pitter patter down the hall at sunrise
Arms reaching out for mommy, the privilege to ease cries

The sweet smell of my child’s hair as we hug
The soft cheek I get to kiss as we play on the rug

The silly giggles of hide and seek
New feats accomplished with a squeak

Bath time splashing and baby lotion smell
Kisses and Ice to owies before they swell

Watching my daughter take my son’s hand
Barefoot toes and castles in the sand

“Sweet baby Owen” Zoë would say,
Her little brother, closer friend each day

What is it about your child that strikes such a deep chord?
You are there for them, the love flows overboard.

My kids wake with excitement each new day
So much to see and so much to say.

The honesty, the imagination, spontaneity and simplicity
The innocence of a child who grows up so quickly

The reality of my bountiful childish blessings astonish me
Only by the grace of God, the best mommy I try to be.

Lord be my patience when I and pressed, energy when I tire,
Help me give the love my children need and the mother you desire

They make my life more full than I ever imagined
The years ahead of fun are more than I can fathom

Thank you, Lord, I am forever grateful
With the trust you have given to me I will be faithful.

I know your love them even more than me
Please protect them from things only you can see

They will be a grown man and woman in the world one day
To you, oh God, I dedicate, may they know your love and walk in your way.

I treasure, cherish, and embrace living life with them
Each one an amazing gift, a priceless gem.